Sunday, May 11, 2008

Somethings i cannot control

I always knew that my dad and i have a special connection but its seems that i just cannot express myself to him about it...dad was a true slacker and ah beng when he was young so when he got old...like all other useless ah bengs...he didn't have an education but he was a street wise person with a pretty crappy personality...the type that would tell the kids that if you found a wallet...u should keep quiet and keep the money..he did business when he was younger but for some reason he stopped when i was around 5...we use to be riched until his business ended...


Then he went on to driving a cab trying to get his children who are still young to get on with the education...he and my mum always say that there was the most difficult time of their life..my dad was 48 years older than me...thus we had an age gap...communication was really terrible between us and some times we would quarrel and not speak to each others for days...but i also felt miserable...even if i dun say it...i feel that he's the greatest father...even if he did not do anything...i can feel his love was always there for me...and all his kids...but dad was the kind of person who also like to talk cock and being singaporeans...the way of expressing our love to our parents are not as open as westerners...

When it was almost new year time...my favourite time have arrive where the whole family would sit around for dinner in peace and harmony...i really enjoy this part of the year ( coz hatred and stupidity makes up for most of the year)...Reunion dinner...and chinese new year...it would meant that angbao is also coming...we would go to my dad's sister hse who is also my aunt who pass away last year...she happens to be the closers with my dad as most of our relatives live in indonesia...if there was a god then god has rob him of his most prized belongings...his family...all he ever had and most proud of is his family...we have no money or what so ever but we value family very much... =)

Lots of stuff happened in 2007 - 2008... july 6 (my birthday is on 7) we went for dinner to celebrate me and my brother's, Alvyn birthday (we have the same birthday) then when we went home, we decided to take a cab as my dad's vechicle broke down on that day. I think its fate that this nonsense happened. On our way back, we tied to get a cab but there were 5 of us and the taxi didn't wanna risk it so i volunteered to take a bus back on the way back..half home on my jurney back...dad called saying that they have been involved in a traffic accident and i call my sister...i went back home and later down to the hospital...injuries seems quite severe for them...having most of my family in hospital was also one of the worst time in my life... then half a year later...dad had a stroke...which caught me unaware...too sudden for me to handle...that day onwards i know my life have changed...its going to be different and time for me to be more mature...thus creating my spilt personality at home...if u think that i'm always so siao siao in school and at home then think again...something i learn is that good things never last...treasure what we have... for what we have now might not be there tmr...and dun have regrets in life...i can tell from my father that his regret is that his other daugther which happens to be my half sister ( which i only realise when i was 17) nv keep in contact with her nor interact with him and from his eyes i can also tell that he loves and misses her even if he dun say so...

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