This is just way WRONG. . . . .

I went home last night.... only to see this ( image below) what the hell is wrong with my bro... luckily its not the maid who did it... phew... huge sign of relieve... =)

-_-"

I don't know. . . . .

Why is my Elmo and my Carebear having a chat on my bed?

Never forget your roots

In life.. we're clouded by many things, lies, power and money. But we should never let go of our dreams and ambitions... no this isn't another motivation talk...

When i was young i was very short (now i'm just short) ... the adults would tell me that i would grow taller as time passes and mommy have a secret peanut root recipe that she assures us that we ( 3 brothers ) will grow taller ( she didn't say how much -_-" )... i wonder if it has to do with the sequence that who gets to drink it first but then... this is what happened...

A (elder bro) - 174

E (second bro) - 161

S ( youngest bro) - 158

Something is seriously wrong mom... did u dope da ge's soup only and gave me and stan plain water plus soy sauce instead!?!?!?

Life's never fair anyway.... so lets not dwell in the past...

Looking forward or rather thinking back about my dreams and stuff... i suppose i miss many things... suddenly i rmb this one...

Back when i was 18-19... i was in indonesia for 2 month staying with bro richard( cousin) everyday we would, go to his factory and then the driving range ( Golf ) . There's this area that we always drive pass that has lots of private housing.

On this very fateful day,i swear! an angel ascend from the heavens in the form of an indo chinese girl... There she stood... ( actually she was in a daze standing in the front porch of her house ) But her angelic face i cannot forget... Then i swore to brush up my indonesia and find an indo girl friend... well... IT NEVER DID HAPPEN.. YET...

The things is that i totally forgot bout it till now... dreams are so far fetch... but it is achievable ( giving lots of false hope here) ... rmb kids if Barney Stinson ( google this... this rocks) can do any girl... so can U!

FOOD!

Someday i gonna be so sick of food... infact today is a good day but it just doesn't seems to be happening... i ate and ate and ate the entire day... woke up late for adv mat... was thinking of going for 3rd meeting coz that was lab but as usual... when something is about to end... my beloved brain will start to filter out stuff for me

( brain washing of the heart in process)

whoaaaa... u see ah.... so late le... u go or dun go also the same de la... go school to makan la ... at least can siam staying at home... can ask your frenz to pon with u too...

( brain washing of the heart completed )

thus today i went to sch to join amelia, dan and hui ling juz to makan... went into the canteen and have to decide what to eat.... recently always eat at the food haven canteen... anymore really will go to heaven... assuming that there's 10 stores... maybe only 3 can eat... wanted to eat economical rice but 3 years le... still the same dishes....

( SHOUT OUT TO VENTOR) siao ah.... 你不 sianz huh!?!?! 我吃得很 sianz 了阿 !!!

then dan say go to eat ayam penyet... i was thinking of having ayam gulai... but when i queue up... the person infront ordered ayam penyet... then i was like.... wow.... lets eat ayam penyet instead...

dear amelia who was having alot of cravings over her western food... saw our food when she came to the table and then... she wanted to eat ayam penyet too!! but then soon another person came with fish and chips and immediately i could tell she wanted to eat that... not to mention suki yaki in thursday was well..

soon they psycho everyone to pon class... then for some reason...we went to peggy's for steamboat... the butter that was used to grill was a killer... well.. at least for me it was.. the other was enjoying it... i was trying to catch my breathe and not puke in her hse... (-_-")

Then i rmb that mom's gonna cook katsu curry tonight.. wtf??? again... meal every 2 hrs interval is a little too extreme
I ate when i got home...struggling to shove it down my throat... took a nap soon... next thing i know... its was ard 10 when i woke up... play some nonsense game.... then mom came home... insisting that i eat the mee soto she bought... well... that's another one down my stomach then...

for those who are saying what a pig i am... be sure to know that i'm currently having the runs... too much food.. i can see my belly protruding out more than usual today.... ouch!!!

it finally came...

well well well.... finally when i listen to chinese emo songs... i stop relating them to my past... i still enjoy them... but i do not put myself in their shoes... unless its gonna be about unable to find true love... or someone to love...

Around the globe... there must be a her worthy of my heart to yearn for... someone that fries my brain out with romantic ideas if winning her over... perhaps it isn't the time yet... or she maybe around but i have yet to realise....

Maybe i got very good friends that i made in school and i neglected them... the idea of having many friends is not appealing to me... as i need quite abit of time to myself... but i won't reject them... if girls have GFF/BFF then guys have brothers... not the blood related type but those even closer... it a world out there and men have it the hard way...

i sat on the bus home after work... felt kinda sad... thinking how come i've been working for so long and yet still so poor... some people have it the easy way... some the extremely difficult like me... i'm still grateful for my parents trying their best to support us through the thick and thins... but how can i ever repay them for how much they sacrifice for us.... u see life isn't fair.. we live too shortly for anything to happen...

i need to work hard after i grad... earn lots before i go into my "conscription".. get my life out of the fucking hell hole once and for all... god damn it~

어쩌다

How come my hand always so itchy?? I go and click on her profile and see things that saddens me...

It been always 2 years and well... they are still tgt and happier as ever...

I been used, stepped on and most obviously discarded...

I began to realize that looks doesn't matter... coz in that department.... i easier lead in any area...

What kind of charm does a 30 plus man have on a 20 plus lady??

Somethings i cannot explain anymore...

God played a serious joke on me through my whole life... lift me to the higher of the peaks and dump me back into the depths of hell...

EUGENE TEO! pls spare yourself and forget about it already... this life aint no fairy tale and you jolly well know it... do not waste seek an tree when you're swimming in a forest... just look around... if a rose with thorns pricked you... then go for a much more gentle and warming sunflower...

if you can save yourself... you can finally be liberated of this damn curse...

Tears won't save you tonight.. nothing will... every drop of alcohol awakens your consciousness...

The cycle of suffering is starting to continue... from where i left behind 2 years ago..

2 bloody years.... not entire a very long period but more or less depressing... a lot of things have happen and i got use to life without you...

I dun know if i still love you... but i dun miss you anymore all that much... i juz need a confirmation from my heart...

heart can you pls release the grip... i cannot bare living my life like this... Its really time to move on....

From today onwards... NO MORE... 7 forbidden letters in my life... C.A.N.D.A.C.E..dun let the words connect.. dun never ever let them hinder your life or even cloud your judgment..

She just a part of history in your life... not gonna be a part of it in the future...

Heartless and cruelty she leave you in a lurch... you were left to pick up the pieces from scratch and your brother is fucking right... you have to MOVE ON...

I'm sick and tired of thinking about you... perhaps its right for you to totally evanescence in my life... perhaps you know what might happen if we continue to keep in contact or even if it is his idea of you doing...

I wish you can find your happiness... and perhaps in him... ( but deep down fucking not.. if i can choose to kill someone... you jolly well know it will be him)

I must now live for myself... not anymore for you.. never again...

dumping all our memories... dumping all the hugs and kisses.. dumping all our belongings...

Good Bye. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Mixed Feelings

In less than a month's time... it will be all over... no more travelling to woodlands... no more pbl... NO MORE FRIENDS?? i guess it inevitable... in my 3 years i made a hell lot of friends and lose some due to dumb stuff and my 'awesome' personality...

I still want to constantly see some of them and i do know that when its all over.... its all over... so now i got 3 more weeks to go to 'heartless' mode so i won't miss them... i hate the feeling of missing someone and i got no reason to even see them... they probably reject me even if i ask them out...

FYI... most of them or rather all that i will miss are girls...

Time to move on with our life... i wish everyone all the best in everything you do... be it finding a rich spourse... working in the wet market or even committing suicide...

May all of you be successful...