FOOD!

Someday i gonna be so sick of food... infact today is a good day but it just doesn't seems to be happening... i ate and ate and ate the entire day... woke up late for adv mat... was thinking of going for 3rd meeting coz that was lab but as usual... when something is about to end... my beloved brain will start to filter out stuff for me

( brain washing of the heart in process)

whoaaaa... u see ah.... so late le... u go or dun go also the same de la... go school to makan la ... at least can siam staying at home... can ask your frenz to pon with u too...

( brain washing of the heart completed )

thus today i went to sch to join amelia, dan and hui ling juz to makan... went into the canteen and have to decide what to eat.... recently always eat at the food haven canteen... anymore really will go to heaven... assuming that there's 10 stores... maybe only 3 can eat... wanted to eat economical rice but 3 years le... still the same dishes....

( SHOUT OUT TO VENTOR) siao ah.... 你不 sianz huh!?!?! 我吃得很 sianz 了阿 !!!

then dan say go to eat ayam penyet... i was thinking of having ayam gulai... but when i queue up... the person infront ordered ayam penyet... then i was like.... wow.... lets eat ayam penyet instead...

dear amelia who was having alot of cravings over her western food... saw our food when she came to the table and then... she wanted to eat ayam penyet too!! but then soon another person came with fish and chips and immediately i could tell she wanted to eat that... not to mention suki yaki in thursday was well..

soon they psycho everyone to pon class... then for some reason...we went to peggy's for steamboat... the butter that was used to grill was a killer... well.. at least for me it was.. the other was enjoying it... i was trying to catch my breathe and not puke in her hse... (-_-")

Then i rmb that mom's gonna cook katsu curry tonight.. wtf??? again... meal every 2 hrs interval is a little too extreme
I ate when i got home...struggling to shove it down my throat... took a nap soon... next thing i know... its was ard 10 when i woke up... play some nonsense game.... then mom came home... insisting that i eat the mee soto she bought... well... that's another one down my stomach then...

for those who are saying what a pig i am... be sure to know that i'm currently having the runs... too much food.. i can see my belly protruding out more than usual today.... ouch!!!

it finally came...

well well well.... finally when i listen to chinese emo songs... i stop relating them to my past... i still enjoy them... but i do not put myself in their shoes... unless its gonna be about unable to find true love... or someone to love...

Around the globe... there must be a her worthy of my heart to yearn for... someone that fries my brain out with romantic ideas if winning her over... perhaps it isn't the time yet... or she maybe around but i have yet to realise....

Maybe i got very good friends that i made in school and i neglected them... the idea of having many friends is not appealing to me... as i need quite abit of time to myself... but i won't reject them... if girls have GFF/BFF then guys have brothers... not the blood related type but those even closer... it a world out there and men have it the hard way...

i sat on the bus home after work... felt kinda sad... thinking how come i've been working for so long and yet still so poor... some people have it the easy way... some the extremely difficult like me... i'm still grateful for my parents trying their best to support us through the thick and thins... but how can i ever repay them for how much they sacrifice for us.... u see life isn't fair.. we live too shortly for anything to happen...

i need to work hard after i grad... earn lots before i go into my "conscription".. get my life out of the fucking hell hole once and for all... god damn it~

어쩌다

How come my hand always so itchy?? I go and click on her profile and see things that saddens me...

It been always 2 years and well... they are still tgt and happier as ever...

I been used, stepped on and most obviously discarded...

I began to realize that looks doesn't matter... coz in that department.... i easier lead in any area...

What kind of charm does a 30 plus man have on a 20 plus lady??

Somethings i cannot explain anymore...

God played a serious joke on me through my whole life... lift me to the higher of the peaks and dump me back into the depths of hell...

EUGENE TEO! pls spare yourself and forget about it already... this life aint no fairy tale and you jolly well know it... do not waste seek an tree when you're swimming in a forest... just look around... if a rose with thorns pricked you... then go for a much more gentle and warming sunflower...

if you can save yourself... you can finally be liberated of this damn curse...

Tears won't save you tonight.. nothing will... every drop of alcohol awakens your consciousness...

The cycle of suffering is starting to continue... from where i left behind 2 years ago..

2 bloody years.... not entire a very long period but more or less depressing... a lot of things have happen and i got use to life without you...

I dun know if i still love you... but i dun miss you anymore all that much... i juz need a confirmation from my heart...

heart can you pls release the grip... i cannot bare living my life like this... Its really time to move on....

From today onwards... NO MORE... 7 forbidden letters in my life... C.A.N.D.A.C.E..dun let the words connect.. dun never ever let them hinder your life or even cloud your judgment..

She just a part of history in your life... not gonna be a part of it in the future...

Heartless and cruelty she leave you in a lurch... you were left to pick up the pieces from scratch and your brother is fucking right... you have to MOVE ON...

I'm sick and tired of thinking about you... perhaps its right for you to totally evanescence in my life... perhaps you know what might happen if we continue to keep in contact or even if it is his idea of you doing...

I wish you can find your happiness... and perhaps in him... ( but deep down fucking not.. if i can choose to kill someone... you jolly well know it will be him)

I must now live for myself... not anymore for you.. never again...

dumping all our memories... dumping all the hugs and kisses.. dumping all our belongings...

Good Bye. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Mixed Feelings

In less than a month's time... it will be all over... no more travelling to woodlands... no more pbl... NO MORE FRIENDS?? i guess it inevitable... in my 3 years i made a hell lot of friends and lose some due to dumb stuff and my 'awesome' personality...

I still want to constantly see some of them and i do know that when its all over.... its all over... so now i got 3 more weeks to go to 'heartless' mode so i won't miss them... i hate the feeling of missing someone and i got no reason to even see them... they probably reject me even if i ask them out...

FYI... most of them or rather all that i will miss are girls...

Time to move on with our life... i wish everyone all the best in everything you do... be it finding a rich spourse... working in the wet market or even committing suicide...

May all of you be successful...

"IF"

Well Well Well, guess what? it's X'mas again? have i been a bad boy this year?? ( i clearly have been) The year is almost over and its time to reflect again. . .Many things happened this year, a lot of things beyond my control and a lot more that was in my control but i screwed up! Now its time to recap the top 10 most happening or (unhappening) stuff that had happen.

Firstly the 5 nicest stuff that have happened ^3^
1. Met Rene noona in Korea! =)
2. Form the 小丸子 brotherhood in Korea! and other more friends after that!
3. T-express... my first roller coaster ride!
4. addiction to K-POP!!!
5. last but not least... i think i found her. . . someone i wanna be with...

Next the top 5 things to never remember -_-"
1. Got drunk in Korea ( pls nv remind me again)
2. Got to know some pig
3. Clique destroyed! ) not like i really care now or even then )
4. Almost broke my fucking left knee! ouch!
5. Trust is an easily broken thing.. every year its the same shit

Every year i aim for the same thing... to have a X'mas trees with nice lights, freezing weather sitting by the fire place hugging onto her... can santa pls tell me when it will happen? Since last year, i clearly rmb that you left out my present... when i even told u what to give me as u got lots of ppl to settle and so as to not confuse u, i told u what i wanted... and u forgot ( shake head) ... last year i wanted u to make the 4D number to my favour but it never did happen... this year... can i pls have a chance to be with her? Please Santa... i need something simple... something that won't cause u a single cent... LOVE!

EMO EMO EMO

i got no friends... period

gonna have meals alone starting tmr...

isolate myself

welcome depression

i had dinner with my brother how pathetic...

She'll be loved ??

Currently addicted to Kpop... stuffing my ipod with videos of SNSD, 2NE1, Kara, Brown Eyed Girls, 4 Minutes and some others too... Since my return from korea, its been 20 days. Why does 20 days feels so long? i wonder how Noona is doing there, hope she's fine... =D

Again, have i been decieved by my never ending flickering heart?? why don't i miss Noona like 20 days ago? Time has again destroyed my time, distance is playing games with me, My life is a joke... tonight i think i offended my best friend, she ask me to die alone... perhaps i have nothing i want to hold on. If i were to die now, will i have regrets? will i have a last wish granted? what will i want?

Behind my mask, you can see an empty soul, behind my skin, lies a rotten corpse, deep inside my heart, it cold and tore apart in many many little pieces, will someone in angelic wings come mend it with needles and thread?

Am i going to spend my life wasted? i wanna inject myself with mercury, i die a blue death due to heavy metal poisoning...

why is the itunes playing " you raise me up" ?
you raise me up so can stand on mountains? i got no mountains in life i want to conquer
you raise me up to wake on stormy seas ? i cannot swim for shit

I'm useless?

Time to time i ponder... what is love... today i realise after almost 2 years, i don't know love,

6th days ago would be our 2nd year tgt, if we were tgt. . . . . . Thanks for destroying me with me once and for all..

I loved You. . . . . .