DUN LIE PLS

To XXX...

Today i finally realise that i've been decieve by you for a period of time, why didn't you just tell me the truth then rather then me having to find it out myself...this little incident make me feel that the whole world cannot be trusted...why is it liddat??? i trust people but all i get are lies and deception from them...from now on...i never would believe in a white lie again...Bcoz there just isn't any...

So easy to trust yet so easily betray...people who are close to me are less than a handful and i treasure all of you, although i do not filter my words most of the time as my brain has no filter...but i didn't mean to let anyone hate me or find me irritating...So sad to learn that some one lied to me...super stress...i wasn't like this before some shit happened...

I was betray by the woman i loved most then...My Cxxxxx...She showed me how trust can be abused and lied to me for a few times...do anyone know how heart shattering it is to learn that the one you love is lying to u?? well...i do...and yes...its heart shattering...tore me apart with her lies over and over again...feels like someone hitting u hard with a bat directly to ur heart...Thus creating someone i am now...

So pls stop lying to me even if u want to comfort me for whatever reason or trying to make me feel better ( i appreciate the thoughts but i'm better off with the truth)...Tonight i gonna emo...for i've been reminded of many unhappy times...(super feel like crying coz someone lied to me)

TAGGED (again)

This time is tagged by Xiu Zhen, second time kena tag must answer differently but still my point of view...

#1 if your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
i must know why and emo for very long
#2 if you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
I want to fall in love again
#3 what will your dream wedding be like?
I want a wedding in the nicest scenery in BALI
#4 are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
I know what i want to do but not sure if its possible
#5 what's your idea lover like?
I like kind girls...need not be very pretty, can be possessive, no matter what, must not lie to me, possess a lovely aura...must smell nice... (=
#6 which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
still both...like i say if a person likes you but you do not like the person, its just plain irritating.. but its nice knowing that the one you loves, love you...
#7 if the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for him/her to change his/her feeling?
I do not understand myself so i do not know
#8 if the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
i want love...not lust...so i will try to understand the person first...but if the person is attached then too bad...i dun bastard people...
#9 is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
My close friend lied to me about something...revoking many unhappy thoughts
#10 what do you want most in life?
I want to design my own house..
#11 is being tagged fun?
truth is... YES
#12 how do you see yourself in ten years time?
I feel that i will bald even worst..hope it stops!!
#13 who is currently the most important person to you?
AXZ..(same as last tag)
#14 what kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
i thinks she's lovely and kind
#15 would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
Married but poor...money can be earn together...i swear i won't make my partner suffer
#16 what's the first thing you do every morning?
Psycho myself if i nv go then i can't have lunch with my friends
#17 would you give all in a relationship?
i will... love like you are loving yourself
#18 if you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick??
its only shows that i do not love anyone, how to love 2 person?? i dun understand..
#19 what type of friends do you like?
hmmmmmm... i can accept a variety of them...the person who tagged me is a nice person
#20 if you played a prank on someone, & he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?
laugh at the person...with the most evil laughter....WHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!! wat else??

TAGGED

This is tagged by Cihui...so u can know who thinks she's cute...

#1 if your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
it has already happened, what to do?? get on with life
#2 if you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
my dream has come true, only to find it destroy by the dream itself
#3 what will your dream wedding be like?
Nice windy day at the beach of maldives
#4 are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
not for the next 4 years...
#5 what's your idea lover like?
found her and lose her
#6 which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
both...if a person likes you but you do not like the person, its just plain irritating..
#7 if the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for him/her to change his/her feeling?
perhaps perhaps perhaps
#8 if the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
i usually do not befriend attached girls..
#9 is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
I've got pretty much no emotions in me
#10 what do you want most in life?
for now its to improve my living standard
#11 is being tagged fun?
er...kinda
#12 how do you see yourself in ten years time?
married??
#13 who is currently the most important person to you?
AXZ
#14 what kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
she thinks she's cute
#15 would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
Married but poor...money can be earn together
#16 what's the first thing you do every morning?
snooze my alarm, open my eyes and curse and swear that it time to wake up
#17 would you give all in a relationship?
i have...
#18 if you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick??
its only shows that i do not love anyone
#19 what type of friends do you like?
hmmmmmm
#20 if you played a prank on someone, & he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?
laugh at the person...with the most evil laughter....WHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!

What is love??

Is love the root of all evil?? how many of u have loved?? be it a family, friends or BGR...i'm sure that you have experience it...if u have not..let me know...i will wanna befriend you... (=

So why do i say so...if you never loved...you wouldn't care at all and you will not experience the worst side of love...which is missing somebody or losing somebody...no arguements coz u dun bother to interact...u dun see strangers quarreling for nothing rite?? Today xiu zhen say if a person wanna be in a relationship he/she must be able to let go as much as she can pick it up...however if that is the case then alot of people will not be in a relationship...My love has died that during the period i tried to let go...whether i have let go or not...i do not know...but i know something...4 glasses of... 3 finger dry gin can really get u drunk...experience that too...

This is the concept of how to love in my point of view...both partners must be comfortable and happy tgether with each other...they both think of each other all the time and nothing can stand between them...they support one another through thick and thin..they do not dissappoint their partners no matter what...they try to blend into each other lifes...they do not quarrel bcoz they love each other too much...if every couple to be liddat this..why would the word 'divorce' even be created...
oh...when can i have the courage to fall in love again...love has taken its toll on me...karma pls spare me...haven i suffered enough??

The TEOs

Tonight went for dinner with my family for mother's day celebration...had to ps xiu zhen and ci hui...sorry gals!! had to travel to marine parade from woodlands...sit bus until ass hurts =(
when i reach my elder bro and sis already there...we dine at some thai restuarant whose food was 60% CMI (cannot make it) horrible.......


As usual dinner topic among us siblings (mainly, Alvyn, me and stan) was how gullible our mum is...and how dumb she is to marry my dad...dad was throwing tantrums with my mum when he first arrive...Alvyn was saying that if he's my dad's wife...he would have slap the hell out of him...and i commented that if he was the wife...he wouldn't married him in the 1st place...so mum....we're not insulting u but juz telling u the fact that u're not very bright =)
and we blame it on the part where she is a malaysian... alvyn was saying that sometimes we do dumb things and feel dumb...and that has to be inherited from her...coz she's malaysian...LOL!!
i do not disagree coz i look at all my malaysian relatives...neither of them looks smart...they all own farm and stuff...agriculture products...typical malaysian...country side style...



Have u ever been called a tao sa pao before?? if others know the meaning then i guess i would have the honour of holding onto the title for a long long time...
tao sa pao = hei xin ( black hearted) coz the filling are black in the middle...what about corn pao?
corn pao = fermented and all the paste coming out..aka rotten...haha!!!



So after the horrible thai food... me, alvyn and stan went to buy bubble tea...the other went back on their own...the best bubble tea ever in sg...nooooo....its not 'Sweet Talk'...this one i had was 100 times better...
its called "KOI CAF'E" and the milk tea is superb...so we walk over to buy bubble tea...to our amusement...the girls working there were young and has quite a good standard....i was thinking that they were taiwanese but Alvyn insisted that they are from China...then Stan were to order and they actually ask how much sugar content u want...caught suddenly by such a question...Alvyn answeredon my behalf while trying to xian the girl...he said in chinese... he's so fat...50% sugar will do...and the gals started laughing...idiot..use ur own brother as a topic to xian char bo...i'm proud of u...and glad to let u know that u live up to your surname 'TEO'..salute!!

Then Stan also try something funny...asking her whether red milk tea or green milk tea is better...the gal recommended green milk tea but stan took quite a while to choose and before he said anything...alvyn said to the gal that stan can't make a decision coz he's colorblind!!! HAHA!!
Joke of the year!!! seriously...we TEOs are just so crappy...when packing our order ( another gal did it...they all look in their early 20s) she wrote the flavour of the drink in chinese and she ask alvyn if he could read chinese...alvyn say yes and he said he can also read number if she wrote numbers...what a corny way to ask for numbers... haiz...


While going back my two dear brothers were still thinking of the gals...and they started saying lame comment that they do not wanna see anyone of us there tmr and that they will be there to spot check...i start to wonder where we got out 'tiko' genes and i thot of my dad....ohhh...so that's where it came from...raging males hormones and balding too.......=(

Somethings i cannot control

I always knew that my dad and i have a special connection but its seems that i just cannot express myself to him about it...dad was a true slacker and ah beng when he was young so when he got old...like all other useless ah bengs...he didn't have an education but he was a street wise person with a pretty crappy personality...the type that would tell the kids that if you found a wallet...u should keep quiet and keep the money..he did business when he was younger but for some reason he stopped when i was around 5...we use to be riched until his business ended...


Then he went on to driving a cab trying to get his children who are still young to get on with the education...he and my mum always say that there was the most difficult time of their life..my dad was 48 years older than me...thus we had an age gap...communication was really terrible between us and some times we would quarrel and not speak to each others for days...but i also felt miserable...even if i dun say it...i feel that he's the greatest father...even if he did not do anything...i can feel his love was always there for me...and all his kids...but dad was the kind of person who also like to talk cock and being singaporeans...the way of expressing our love to our parents are not as open as westerners...

When it was almost new year time...my favourite time have arrive where the whole family would sit around for dinner in peace and harmony...i really enjoy this part of the year ( coz hatred and stupidity makes up for most of the year)...Reunion dinner...and chinese new year...it would meant that angbao is also coming...we would go to my dad's sister hse who is also my aunt who pass away last year...she happens to be the closers with my dad as most of our relatives live in indonesia...if there was a god then god has rob him of his most prized belongings...his family...all he ever had and most proud of is his family...we have no money or what so ever but we value family very much... =)

Lots of stuff happened in 2007 - 2008... july 6 (my birthday is on 7) we went for dinner to celebrate me and my brother's, Alvyn birthday (we have the same birthday) then when we went home, we decided to take a cab as my dad's vechicle broke down on that day. I think its fate that this nonsense happened. On our way back, we tied to get a cab but there were 5 of us and the taxi didn't wanna risk it so i volunteered to take a bus back on the way back..half home on my jurney back...dad called saying that they have been involved in a traffic accident and i call my sister...i went back home and later down to the hospital...injuries seems quite severe for them...having most of my family in hospital was also one of the worst time in my life... then half a year later...dad had a stroke...which caught me unaware...too sudden for me to handle...that day onwards i know my life have changed...its going to be different and time for me to be more mature...thus creating my spilt personality at home...if u think that i'm always so siao siao in school and at home then think again...something i learn is that good things never last...treasure what we have... for what we have now might not be there tmr...and dun have regrets in life...i can tell from my father that his regret is that his other daugther which happens to be my half sister ( which i only realise when i was 17) nv keep in contact with her nor interact with him and from his eyes i can also tell that he loves and misses her even if he dun say so...

Do you believe in karma??

Have you ever thot of karma?? its just like the justin timberlake song, what goes around comes around, hmmm...if you do not believe in karma....here's a very good analogy...everything u ever earn in your life will eventually be lost when u die....such is karma...

When i was in sec one...i presuade this gal to leave her bf coz her bf is a damn ah beng and always getting her into trouble...for her own good...i talk to her about this and eventually she leave him...after sometime i got together with her...a moment of curiosity i guess...but as fast as we got together...soon we broke up over very minor issues which was compelety dumb but the worst has yet to come...being both young and hard-headed we both didn't give in..and being an asshole...yes i was an asshole then...i scolded her a very unpopular word then 'BITCH'...unlike now its was not a nice word to use then and that made her cried...all the gals in the class was against me and i felt like a complete jerk for two months...this was the start of all the karma i had to repay....FUCK! ( i'm really sorry for what i've done but i dare not apologise to u in ur face...it will always be a regret in my life and even if i see u again...i still would not have the courage to go up and apologise...but i hope someday i can do so...i really do...I"M SORRY..)

This is a chain of relationship karma...and the softest part of me is LOVE...something i was weak against...never did i believe in karma until this happens...my second gf was when i was 17...i repeated my 'N' levels and got into a completely new environment where all my friends were in sec 5 but i was in sec 4,being new to the class...i kept to myself most of the time...i was sitting with another retainee at that time(we sat in 2s) but i soon changed sit with another gal...and my sit was next to my ex...that's when i noe her...i think i was acting cool at that time and she kept trying to crack me up by talking to me and teaching me maths which i suck at...she's not the prettiest but one of the most kind hearted i must say and her family background is kind of sad...kind hearted gals also make me have a special kind of bond to me thus i'm more attracted by innner beauty...she would call me everyday at first i would happily pick up but after some time...it got a little irritating and i ignore her calls...the results was 17 miss calls in 20 mins...then i finally realise that she like me...o.O

what a shock to me...and when i want to go steady with her...its was only slight feeling...but eventually i really feel in love with her deeply...only too realise that i'm not suitable for her...i'm pretty much always bullying her...making fun of her and she didn't want her bf to be liddat thus we broke up...i was sad coz i didn't noe the truth after some time later...she stole my first kiss...

=( soon i realise that this is my fault again...i didn't noe what she wanted...

Karma happens here... my 3rd GF...the one that i loved the most...i like her since primary 6 and well i did confess...throughout the years i seen her a few times and each time i saw her...the 'first love' kind of feeling occurs..ur heart beats faster, u think about her all the time and yes...she made me felt all of that... Some time in AUG 2007...i went for supper with DJ ( dong jian...my one and only best fren in sec...there was 2...the other turned gay and before that he backstabbed us thus he shall not be considered) after that we went for a walk...since we had supper at bedok interchange, i thot of going to temasek primary (the old one) which was also my primary school...and we walk to that...(primary schools bring back lots of memories as i love the class and frenz i had then...6F...awwww....with my ex in there too...) i sms her while walking into the private houses area and ask if she wanted to chat...she agreed and i met under her block chai chee blk 61...so there's me,dj and her, Candace...

i forgot what we chatted about...but that nite onwards, i took dj that i'm gonna court her...for its that very special kind of feeling that she gives me...soon we went for our first date...movie date to be exact...sakae sushi and the movie was 'ALONE' after that we went out regularly and soon to each other's house...amking potato salad...playing guitar or rather she teach me how to play the guitar...until one movie...out first kiss...lips to lips..."balls of fury"...half way through the show i just went ahead to kiss her and she reacted back...( the beginning of all my miseries) i thot i had the girl of my dreams...but after 2 days... she said that she do not want to be in a relationship bcoz she do not noe how to handle a relationship...but i know that she has feeling for me so i was persistent and keep trying to get her back....not this once but for at least 4-5 times...she's very insecure and some of the things that happen next was pretty psychotic...

1. SMS cannot reply later than 3 minutes

2. cannot say good night

3. cannot say that i want to go home when i'm at her place

4.cannot look at other gals...glare also cannot...if accidently look at other gals then get really to be slaughtered

its was so and so unspoken rulez that eventually i gave up everything just to keep her by my side... i neglected my frenz...studies and sometime work to be with her...(my partner would be more important than anything in my heart) in the end everything was left there hanging...until the night when she took me she like someone else...i lied to myself that as long as she love me..i will still accept her if she stops contacting the asshole...however she refuse to do so...and i know that it was over by then...gone...and the reason for all the previous attemps of trying to break up was bcoz... 1. i'm shorter than her...(which i can't fucking control) 2. i cannot lead her ( i'm not a christian)...how the hell i'm suppose to know about a christain marriage?? and u also nv ever once tell me what u want...and my fault was that i never did ask...but even if i did...knowing her, she will not say or tell the truth....she will just use a lame excuse to get it through with....i know u too well...( i know u so well until i dun noe u anymore) isn't this karma...i treat u good yet u dun treasure...2nd gf...

u run with some fucking asshole...juz like when i presuade my 1st ex to end it with her bf... so now do anyone still have doubts in karma??? but hey candace...i dun hate u...juz wanted u to know............

PLS DO MORE GOOD DEEDS....and for the asshole who stole her away...karma will soon come after u...u juz wait....WHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! (from karma) curse u bastard!