I'm sick...caught a damn cold...feeling feverish too...but this time round nobody to take care of me...no fish porridge...no pillow fights...no forced kisses...slowly and steadily i sink into my own black hole...the more i live...the more i realise that i'm not living...and the reason i fell sick?
I think it was the stalking i did the night before...I tend to put myself in a very stupid position in life...i accomplish nothing...i can't seem to get over YOU...so here i'm physically and mentally sick...depression will soon kick in...halluncation and stuff will soon cover me in a mist of misery...never have i feel so down in life...since the day i realise YOU were gone...I swore that my life is very much over and its proving me right now...YOU can ignore me...for YOU do not know the hardship of thinking about YOU every minute of the night...i do not even know if YOU are dead or alive...can YOU really bear to do this to me?? are YOU that heartless?? are YOU being manipulated by someone?? or . . . or . . . some many questions going through my mind every night and all i yearn for is just a very simple sms saying...'hey, i'm ok.' maybe that night at the river i should have ended it that and then...then i do not have to endure so this melancholy alone...while YOU could be merrying with someone else...do YOU even miss me a single bit... unlike others... we didn't part because we had no more love for each other...our love was strong but not strong enough i guess...must i go on my kneels to beg YOU to appear...or this is how you choose to settle between us...to ignore me...if so...then i'm pretty much really speechless...lets hope this is not your final decision...lets not end it just like this...
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
A true blue stalker
Today after watching kung fu panda with Dj and gary...we went to eat Soup Spoon after walking round and round in raffles city...we only found seats there are singlely seated...well... there was a crowded so we had no choice but what awaited us was simply mind blowing...ok...to begin with, the seats we had were higher than the table sits thus we have a very good 'cleavage' view...and right infront of us was a table of 4 ladies 20-30...1 had a awesome figure...her awesomeness blinded me...its juz pure hotness but the one to her left had the better looks...if them combined...omg!!! ...ouch...( nose bleed)...and for some reason..there happened to be a mirror rite infront of the table and yes...upskirt...i saw white...(girls who read this entry...u might say i'm a tiko pek but this is what happens when guys go out) For Gary and Dj who first time eat Soup Spoon...this is a bloody good experience...Clap Clap... 3 lucky bastards...
Ok...here's the stalker part...dropping at bedok Mrt...instead of going home...i went to stalk on my ex...can't seem to get over her...and its been freaking 4 months... anyway i was at her void deck ard 9 and left at 11...i sms her but she didn't reply...ard 10.45 i saw a couple entering her flat...it could have been her and that bastard or her sis and her bf...well i tink they saw me...i tend to like to do stupid stuff like secretly wait opposite her void deck for her to return...stupid stupid me...when i saw that couple...my heart sank...shatter into a million pieces...I hated the feeling..why must a break up be so harsh...it's like she disappeared from my life completely and here i'm worrying about her when she dun even know it...All i want is to see u again...why can't i even get the chance to do so...Its rained heavily through the wait too...i had to hide in a dome to escape from the rain...i thot i was safe until i realise this bloody dome leaks and soon i had no place to sit...so i walk through the rain to the opposite void deck and kept looking through the window...no sign of anything...feeling sad...i walked home...in the rain...
loving u seems to be so difficult... and a rat scared me when i was walking home...so scared of rats!! help!!
Ok...here's the stalker part...dropping at bedok Mrt...instead of going home...i went to stalk on my ex...can't seem to get over her...and its been freaking 4 months... anyway i was at her void deck ard 9 and left at 11...i sms her but she didn't reply...ard 10.45 i saw a couple entering her flat...it could have been her and that bastard or her sis and her bf...well i tink they saw me...i tend to like to do stupid stuff like secretly wait opposite her void deck for her to return...stupid stupid me...when i saw that couple...my heart sank...shatter into a million pieces...I hated the feeling..why must a break up be so harsh...it's like she disappeared from my life completely and here i'm worrying about her when she dun even know it...All i want is to see u again...why can't i even get the chance to do so...Its rained heavily through the wait too...i had to hide in a dome to escape from the rain...i thot i was safe until i realise this bloody dome leaks and soon i had no place to sit...so i walk through the rain to the opposite void deck and kept looking through the window...no sign of anything...feeling sad...i walked home...in the rain...
loving u seems to be so difficult... and a rat scared me when i was walking home...so scared of rats!! help!!
Monday, June 9, 2008
A burning romance
On nights like those where i desire for you...here's for you...
I should have memorise every scent of yours that triggers my lust for you
I should have longed for dusk for that moment that i can embrace you while we laid dormant
I should have hearken every whisper that you have mumble
I should have acted it out about how much you are missed
I should have try to savvy the very last moments that we shared
I should have disguise my emotions so i do not get rooted into your hearted
I should have learned to habour hatred for you
I should have laid waste to the very memories that once wrap us in a circle of felicity
I should have hid my very last breathe that i still loved you
I hear you no more, like a shadow in the night you vanquished without a trace,
Leaving me in a circle of death, never to escape, tormented and tortured for life,
For it is the very fact that i live to long for you,I was alive for you,
For i'm no longer living, for my passion has died,
For my desires burned into thin air,
For the world of happiness never would exist again,
For the nights where you would not appear again,
For love has died,
Never will it sparkle my fragile heart once more,
Never to feel my warm blood once more,
Never to hear a laughter so clear from the heart once more.
Never to hold you close once more, never to see you once more,
Such is my love for you for it never will come true once more.
I should have memorise every scent of yours that triggers my lust for you
I should have longed for dusk for that moment that i can embrace you while we laid dormant
I should have hearken every whisper that you have mumble
I should have acted it out about how much you are missed
I should have try to savvy the very last moments that we shared
I should have disguise my emotions so i do not get rooted into your hearted
I should have learned to habour hatred for you
I should have laid waste to the very memories that once wrap us in a circle of felicity
I should have hid my very last breathe that i still loved you
I hear you no more, like a shadow in the night you vanquished without a trace,
Leaving me in a circle of death, never to escape, tormented and tortured for life,
For it is the very fact that i live to long for you,I was alive for you,
For i'm no longer living, for my passion has died,
For my desires burned into thin air,
For the world of happiness never would exist again,
For the nights where you would not appear again,
For love has died,
Never will it sparkle my fragile heart once more,
Never to feel my warm blood once more,
Never to hear a laughter so clear from the heart once more.
Never to hold you close once more, never to see you once more,
Such is my love for you for it never will come true once more.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Round stuff
Well...i realise that asians and round stuff nv quite goes very well...for example..sports...when the last time an asian team won the soccer world cup...? The answer is NEVER!! who plays in the NBA?? yao ming and?? er...another 1 or 2...what about tennis?? er...hmmm...golf?? wait... is that something singh guy considered asian....he's from fiji...oh dear...So as u can see we basically sux with round stuff...
Take sex for an example...asian have flatter chest than caucasians...they also have bigger balls than us!! yes i'm sure u know what i meant...think sexual...speaking of which...the longest dick in the world belongs to some black guy( 11-14 inch) ...asian are not even close...
What else?? er ..lets see...to add on to the sports part...our world super power China excels in almost every sport except for soccer and basketball where a ball ( which is round) is required...
Anyway...i shall welcome myself to the jungle...i have been sleeping in the living room for months now and i also realise that i'm not really sleeping alone...occasionally my brother joins me but most nights...the only companion i have is INSECTS...ants...a few days back a cockroach...and last nite a yellow bug actually rested on my pillow...BITCH!! that's my pillow...GRRRR!!!
WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE!! (by guns n roses)
Take sex for an example...asian have flatter chest than caucasians...they also have bigger balls than us!! yes i'm sure u know what i meant...think sexual...speaking of which...the longest dick in the world belongs to some black guy( 11-14 inch) ...asian are not even close...
What else?? er ..lets see...to add on to the sports part...our world super power China excels in almost every sport except for soccer and basketball where a ball ( which is round) is required...
Anyway...i shall welcome myself to the jungle...i have been sleeping in the living room for months now and i also realise that i'm not really sleeping alone...occasionally my brother joins me but most nights...the only companion i have is INSECTS...ants...a few days back a cockroach...and last nite a yellow bug actually rested on my pillow...BITCH!! that's my pillow...GRRRR!!!
WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE!! (by guns n roses)
Friday, June 6, 2008
Something's happening
Well...i dunno why but i seem to be trying too hard to enterain everyone...till the extend of lameness...trying to create conversations that suppose to be interesting but in the end bored everyone...seriously if i were them who got bored at a lamer talking rubbish...i would certainly ask the person to shut up...
YTD was out with Xiu zhen and Co. to Suntec...today with W55D to marina square...same area different mall... both went through city link...geez...why no one ever suggest going clubbing?? For almost 21 years..i only been to 2 clubs before...both in indonesia...which my cousin richard brought me there with his friends...but in SG nv...no st.james...no zouk....no MOS...haiz...wanna go see mumbo...sound fun...everyone with the same dance step....
BORE AH!!!!!
YTD was out with Xiu zhen and Co. to Suntec...today with W55D to marina square...same area different mall... both went through city link...geez...why no one ever suggest going clubbing?? For almost 21 years..i only been to 2 clubs before...both in indonesia...which my cousin richard brought me there with his friends...but in SG nv...no st.james...no zouk....no MOS...haiz...wanna go see mumbo...sound fun...everyone with the same dance step....
BORE AH!!!!!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
What a disturbance!
My week has been boring...went for dinner on monday with liang hong...dj...and gary @ Parkway Parade...we had Mos burger which was okay but too ex and anytime better than the nonsense i eat at home...at home the maid is trying real hard to make sure everyone get kidney failure...i think eating maggi mee also won't die so fast as compared to the maid's cooking...haiz...we understand that in your hometown (maid) salt is very precious...but hellooo.....welcome to singapore...salt is nothing here u idiot...
My maid is very the disgusting...a few weeks back...stan caught her drinking water directly from the water container in the fridge...motherfucking disgusting...fucking maid...at least get a cup, u fucking idiot...u know a C.U.P...the glass/ceramic thingy with a handle...comes in different colors and sizes shape like a cylinder...?? ever owe 1 before??? So wat u may say....nothing wrong what...but here's the catch...all my sibling are too lazy to get cups so most of the time we drink directly...since we're siblings we dun mind coz we have the same saliva but the maid?! OMG...is this a culture clash...but being 1/4 indonesia...and knowing some indonesians myself...we know what is respect...but this maid of mine is dumb beyond my imagination...she's lazy too...
If i were to do an inspection...i can easily spot many the places that have been neglected when she cleans (if it even is cleaned to being with)...clothes always not iron...not fold too...left in the wrong cupboard despite telling her whose is whose for like a gar-zillions times!! worse till folded but left in the bucket where it's collected....trying to piss me off?? whenever my dad calls for her...she acts deaf...sometimes i feel like talking a hard object and hammer her jia lat..!! jia lat...!! Here something i really cannot stand...she's like damn fat..yet she wastes food...buy food for her...she eats half and throws it away...wtf...can't she keep it for laters?? Even we dun thow away the food...what makes u tink u can do so?? It's not like u get alot to eat back in ur hometown too yet you waste food... screw up maid from hell!!
Dun ask me why...but i suddenly juz feel like scolding the damn maid and a cockroach scared me when i was typing this entry...appearing beside my lappy outta no where...gonna kill it tmr...pesticide the whole living room...!!! RAWR!!!!
My maid is very the disgusting...a few weeks back...stan caught her drinking water directly from the water container in the fridge...motherfucking disgusting...fucking maid...at least get a cup, u fucking idiot...u know a C.U.P...the glass/ceramic thingy with a handle...comes in different colors and sizes shape like a cylinder...?? ever owe 1 before??? So wat u may say....nothing wrong what...but here's the catch...all my sibling are too lazy to get cups so most of the time we drink directly...since we're siblings we dun mind coz we have the same saliva but the maid?! OMG...is this a culture clash...but being 1/4 indonesia...and knowing some indonesians myself...we know what is respect...but this maid of mine is dumb beyond my imagination...she's lazy too...
If i were to do an inspection...i can easily spot many the places that have been neglected when she cleans (if it even is cleaned to being with)...clothes always not iron...not fold too...left in the wrong cupboard despite telling her whose is whose for like a gar-zillions times!! worse till folded but left in the bucket where it's collected....trying to piss me off?? whenever my dad calls for her...she acts deaf...sometimes i feel like talking a hard object and hammer her jia lat..!! jia lat...!! Here something i really cannot stand...she's like damn fat..yet she wastes food...buy food for her...she eats half and throws it away...wtf...can't she keep it for laters?? Even we dun thow away the food...what makes u tink u can do so?? It's not like u get alot to eat back in ur hometown too yet you waste food... screw up maid from hell!!
Dun ask me why...but i suddenly juz feel like scolding the damn maid and a cockroach scared me when i was typing this entry...appearing beside my lappy outta no where...gonna kill it tmr...pesticide the whole living room...!!! RAWR!!!!
Monday, June 2, 2008
holidays = Boring days
Yesterday was the happiest day of the month... PAYDAY (oi...i got no money...dun try and be so sticky to me) then i realise that our long time admin in the company is quiting...sianz...she's like the backbone of the company...if she quits then the promoters life will be in jeopardy...well i'm just looing forward to the hell... i'll go through next...My next mission is to go and hook up with the next admin...use my socialising skill consisting of lame jokes and sweet tongue flattering to win her over...then life will be easy for me again...i think..
Then at nite was chatting with Ying Xiang (who is my best friend in class) and i realise that some girls in class say me sei...hmmmm...oh well...i guess i'm just more open in class perhaps...but to think ying xiang stood me for me...so touched!!!! but here's the ironic part...1st day she saw me..her impression was that i'm a tiko-pek...sad la...why everyone judge me by my looks and it not like they're saying i'm cute....
When i was in sec 1...i got lots of god-sisters becoz they all say i very cute...and god sisters were the 'in' thing then...so i think i got at least 10...sekali who knows 8 years later...ppl say i look sei and not cute anymore....seriously...this is call Rude Awakening...GRRR...why liddat!?!?
Now is holidays...so guess what i'm doing? hehe....playing diablo 2 at home...so funnnn...ya rite....so fucking sianz...only xun fu ask me out to fix his psp at sim lim...do i look like i got the psp fixing face?? that time is xiu zhen's brother ask me go with him...now is xun fu...next is who?? my sister?? coz she also got psp...then before i know all my frenz with psp will be asking me to go fix with them...grrrr...sekali mine also spoilt...H.A.H.A. funny huh!?!?
I realise that Stan has been reading this girls blog...a girl that just join his church recently...( who would expect my brother to be christian) and this girl is 16 but she looks damn chao lao...however i muz admit...i word to describe...'CHIO'...as usual Alvyn was trying to condemn her...and finally he found something to...her nose..is quite big...but looking at Stan's...also damn big...like Chen Long...WHAHAHHAHHAH!!! wait i think mine also quite big ( use my hand and cover my nose)....with 1 hand i shall hit the publish post button to submit this entry....
Then at nite was chatting with Ying Xiang (who is my best friend in class) and i realise that some girls in class say me sei...hmmmm...oh well...i guess i'm just more open in class perhaps...but to think ying xiang stood me for me...so touched!!!! but here's the ironic part...1st day she saw me..her impression was that i'm a tiko-pek...sad la...why everyone judge me by my looks and it not like they're saying i'm cute....
When i was in sec 1...i got lots of god-sisters becoz they all say i very cute...and god sisters were the 'in' thing then...so i think i got at least 10...sekali who knows 8 years later...ppl say i look sei and not cute anymore....seriously...this is call Rude Awakening...GRRR...why liddat!?!?
Now is holidays...so guess what i'm doing? hehe....playing diablo 2 at home...so funnnn...ya rite....so fucking sianz...only xun fu ask me out to fix his psp at sim lim...do i look like i got the psp fixing face?? that time is xiu zhen's brother ask me go with him...now is xun fu...next is who?? my sister?? coz she also got psp...then before i know all my frenz with psp will be asking me to go fix with them...grrrr...sekali mine also spoilt...H.A.H.A. funny huh!?!?
I realise that Stan has been reading this girls blog...a girl that just join his church recently...( who would expect my brother to be christian) and this girl is 16 but she looks damn chao lao...however i muz admit...i word to describe...'CHIO'...as usual Alvyn was trying to condemn her...and finally he found something to...her nose..is quite big...but looking at Stan's...also damn big...like Chen Long...WHAHAHHAHHAH!!! wait i think mine also quite big ( use my hand and cover my nose)....with 1 hand i shall hit the publish post button to submit this entry....
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